As of today between vacation, family, and a funeral I haven't been to church in 3 weeks, I haven't participated in YW, and I've barely felt the spirit.
Tonight Michael and I went to the dumbest movie I have ever seen. Ever. I couldn't believe that grown adults were laughing at the smut on the screen. Even more so I couldn't believe as a grown adult I couldn't get up and leave. It didn't matter how embarrassed or offended I was, I couldn't leave. As we drove home and made a detour to 7eleven all I could think about is how I feel.
I feel empty and alone.
With these feelings comes feelings of disappointment and depression.
Life is not anywhere near perfect with the gospel and the spirit. At least, though, I feel whole. At least through the hard times and low moments I feel hope and love. I don't ever want to be this far away from the gospel ever again. I don't want to feel alone and empty. I want those feelings of hope back.
I can't wait to go to church on Sunday. It will be so refreshing.
What a lesson I've learned.