Friday, August 17, 2012

Life's little lessons

As of today between vacation, family, and a funeral I haven't been to church in 3 weeks, I haven't participated in YW, and I've barely felt the spirit.

Tonight Michael and I went to the dumbest movie I have ever seen. Ever. I couldn't believe that grown adults were laughing at the smut on the screen. Even more so I couldn't believe as a grown adult I couldn't get up and leave. It didn't matter how embarrassed or offended I was, I couldn't leave. As we drove home and made a detour to 7eleven all I could think about is how I feel.

I feel empty and alone.

With these feelings comes feelings of disappointment and depression.

Life is not anywhere near perfect with the gospel and the spirit. At least, though, I feel whole. At least through the hard times and low moments I feel hope and love. I don't ever want to be this far away from the gospel ever again. I don't want to feel alone and empty. I want those feelings of hope back.

I can't wait to go to church on Sunday. It will be so refreshing.

What a lesson I've learned.


Erin said...

Sometimes it's good to experience those lessons so that we can understand how much we need the Spirit and the Gospel in our lives. I call it spiritual malnourishment when my spirit is starving for that strength and peace that only the Gospel can provide. And when I find time to give my spirit a steady diet of spiritual things: scripture study, temple attendance, church, prayer--I am always surprised to find how quickly and fully the peace and "fullness" of the Gospel comes back into my heart. Feed your spirit. it's the only way to feel peace in this life. Love you!

Jason + Whitni said...

Thanks for sharing your experience Lu. I've totally been there. Today we actually talked about that in Relief Society, about how having the Spirit takes action on our part and a sincere "feasting upon the words of Christ". Amazing how different life is without it huh? You're amazing and I love ya so don't beat yourself up about it. You got this :)