Life's little lessons

As of today between vacation, family, and a funeral I haven't been to church in 3 weeks, I haven't participated in YW, and I've barely felt the spirit.

Tonight Michael and I went to the dumbest movie I have ever seen. Ever. I couldn't believe that grown adults were laughing at the smut on the screen. Even more so I couldn't believe as a grown adult I couldn't get up and leave. It didn't matter how embarrassed or offended I was, I couldn't leave. As we drove home and made a detour to 7eleven all I could think about is how I feel.

I feel empty and alone.

With these feelings comes feelings of disappointment and depression.

Life is not anywhere near perfect with the gospel and the spirit. At least, though, I feel whole. At least through the hard times and low moments I feel hope and love. I don't ever want to be this far away from the gospel ever again. I don't want to feel alone and empty. I want those feelings of hope back.

I can't wait to go to church on Sunday. It will be so refreshing.

What a lesson I've learned.

Little Update

Hello everyone! It's been a while since I posted and I really need a good excuse to distract me from cleaning my house.

So, here is a nice little update on my life.

My mom and her husband came down for my birthday and we got to go to the temple for the first time together.

For the 4th of July Michael and I went to La Jolla cove to watch the fireworks with my dad.

We drove to Idaho last week to visit family. Roxy got a little restless on the way.

This sweet little girl learned how to use the camera on my phone and took about 100 pictures. She snuck in some awesome photos.

See, look how cute that is?

I finished my niece's quilt.

On our way back home we got a little lost in a town that I didn't think you could get lost in. But the dog enjoyed it.

Not even a week later my sister's flew in so we could go to my Oma's funeral.

I even managed to get a picture that is so rare I can't even begin to explain it.

Overall I've been having a pretty good time.

He's my best friend

Just a few minutes ago an old country song popped into my head. So complicated. So frustrated. I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away. I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay. Should I say it? Should I tell you how I feel? Oh I want you to know. Oh I want you to know. It's so complicated. I used to love ths song. In fact, I still do. Listening to it made my heart flutter with excitement. It reminded me of when I was in high school and I wanted so bad to have that type of relationship. You know the one you see in movies. Where two people are friends and somewhere along the way they fall in love. I thought it was so romantic. Do you know how Michael and I meet? We were in the same ward and I thought he was so hot. My roommate let me know that he was our friends little brother. We decided to have a get together and invite our friend. We would suggest that she should bring her little brother. He was just off his mission so we wanted to make sure he felt comfortable in our ward. You know, we were so considerate like that. Unfortunately, no one could come. Including my friend with the hot younger brother. BUT she willingly, thanks again, gave me his phone number and he could make it! That first night was super awkward. Especially, since he was talking about the girl he was dating. Blah. Somehow, though, we managed to become best friends. We hung out everyday and spent a lot of time texting. All day. I was so crazy about him but he was dating someone else and I didn't know what to do. Looking back and trying to recount the steps I don't really know exactly how it happened but somehow we ended up dating and in love. The rest is history. Tonight, when that song popped in my head I realized that I got what I always wanted. I fell in love with my best friend. How lucky am I?

Chocolate Chip Muffies

My friend has this great food blog  called Sweet and Savory Tooth. You should check it out because she ALWAYS has great recipes. Also, a really hot guy I know made a header and he did an awesome job. He has made some really great headers. He's so hot and creative.

I'm getting side tracked.

Today I  stopped by her blog and was inspired to make some CC cookies. So, I picked a recipe that included ingredients that I currently had and went to work.

At this time I would like to point out that I am terrible at making cookies. Terrible. I can follow directions to a T and still screw them up royally.

Back to the story.

I followed THIS really great recipe and didn't skip one single step. I then put the cookies in the oven expecting amazing cookies and came out with...

This.

This is pre-usual. This time, though, I had a great idea. Since the dough is really soft I decided to use my muffin pan and made...

THIS!

I can't wait to eat them. They look so good.

Also, today I decided to do a little sewing and saw this quote...

It's on the inside of my sewing box.

So cute.

My sister, Jeigh, made it for me. She's awesome. I had seen that quote before but today it made me smile extra big.

Surgery and the Easter Bunny

Remember how I was wearing this...

Ohh, look how clean it was.

Well I wore it for four weeks. I was told that I sprained my ligament in my thumb and I should be fine after the four weeks.

So, I very anxiously went to my doctor's appointment on Monday to get that freaken cast off. They were very efficient in getting it off and for the first time in four weeks I saw this...

Hello thumb! I've missed you. I had to take the picture really quickly because I didn't want to be caught taking a picture and I wasn't sure if I would be getting a cast back on.

What you can't really see in this picture is that with taking off my cast the doctor discovered that my thumb flops way to far down because the ligament is torn. Exciting, I know.

So, on Thursday I will be going under the knife to repair the ligament. Apparently, we all have a tendon in our wrist that we don't use. (Heavenly Father did such a good job creating our bodies) The doc, who has done this surgery over 1,000 times, will take the unused tendon and repair my ligament. I will then have to have physical therapy. Oh such fun things to come.

I'll let you know how it all goes next week or something.

On a related note, the Easter Bunny and I had a chat. We decided that he just better come tomorrow morning because I might be exhausted Sunday morning and might not be up to helping him out. Also, since he's making a special trip, just for us, he decided that I would have to put the baskets out in the morning and he just dropped them off tonight. He also apologized that the gifts are not gospel related because he realizes that's a rule in our house. It's just that everything was last minute and he just didn't have a chance to really look into some good Easter items. So, I got a picture of them...

Michael's is on the right. My "big" present is coming. I'm getting the book "Pick Another Checkout Lane, Honey." It's a couponing book. I really want to save some money on groceries.

I hope you all have a very Hoppy Easter!

Two Quilts this Year

As you know, because you read my blog all the time, I make quilts for my nieces and nephews quilts when they are baptized. This year I have two that are getting baptized around the same time so I get to make two this year!

I just bought the fabric for the second one and I want to share how awesome they will be.

This is the first quilt for a boy. I did make one for my tomboy niece last year but still. His mom has already approved the fabric so I know he will love it.

This is for my very girly niece. There is some type on the novelty fabric that says "Once upon the time." Just in case you can't tell, the purple on the novelty fabric is sparkly. Also, the yarn is sparkly.

 

 

 

I can't wait to get my cast off so I can get started.

Things I love

I hurt my thumb real bad at work. I'm not really supposed to use my right hand.  I also can't work so I just have to sit at home. Helpless. (The sitting at home thing was only until I got my permanent cast; which I now have.)

Just in case you are wondering I was walking through a swinging door at the same time as someone else and my thumb bent the wrong way. I found out that I have sprained a ligament or, possibly, ligaments in my thumb and I have to wear a super cool cast for 3-6 weeks.

I chose purple because orange wasn't an option.

Anyway...

All that said these are the things that I thought about today that I love:

The smell of my dog.
Snuggling with my kitty.
CSI in the middle of the day.
The fact that my husband has to help me put on my clothes. I feel like a little kid.
Looking at a giant pile of laundry knowing I CAN'T put it away.
Having opportunity to prepare my talk when I didn't think I would have much time.
Having time to relax.
Being able to watch whatever I want on TV.
Not cooking because I can't.
Mid-day naps.
Not having to stress about the super stressful things at work.
My super comfy couch.

Wild Animal Park

A little bit before we left to Hawaii Michael and I went to the Wild Animal Park! It was really fun and I've been dying to post pictures but was a little bit busy getting ready for Hawaii. So here are the pics!

This tiger was sleeping. Watch the video below. It may be a little long but totally worth it! Ok, the video is not working. Our internet is going whacky. So ignore the not working link below. It's another tiger pouncing on this sleeping tiger.

 

We were getting ready for our Safari. People come visit us so you can experience this awesomeness.

This is a giraffe and her new calf. (is it a calf?) They just moved into the zoo and are waiting to join their friends!

This guy can't be with his family until his little bro grows up a bit so his mom doesn't kill him. Isn't that sweet?

Also, we just got back from Hawaii so here's a sneak peek of our trip. Check out Facebook for the rest of the pics.

One of those days...

When I left Panera Bread in Concord (where I just was living...sort of) there were people there crying that I was leaving. Everyone knew that I was following my husband but hated it. People tried to convince me to stay, some even begged. It was hard to leave. I was part of a great team who needed me and loved me and I needed and loved them.

I'm now at a new cafe. I work with great, hard working people. They have welcomed me and listened to my problems; one even saw me break down today. I'm still struggling though. I really miss my old cafe, just to start. On top of that I feel like the black sheep. I don't feel like I'm needed and sometimes I feel like I'm not even wanted. I just came from a cafe where I was high on the totem pole and I had worked hard, very hard, to get there and now I'm down at the bottom again. The very bottom. I miss loving my job and having that "can't wait" feeling when thinking about going back to work. I miss being needed, truly needed. Today things fell apart and I was getting "graded" for my performance today. Not a good day to not have it together.

It's just been a bad day.

I love little moments.

Over the past couple of days I have had little moments where I am filled, overwhelmingly, with the spirit and I couldn't help but share.

My most recent one happened about 10 minutes ago:
As all of you faithful bloggers know, I just started working at a new place. With working at a new place (where I work hard and am often exhausted) I have to explain about 1 million times why I can't have coffee; it's a religious thing. A lot of people let it go and don't ask about it again but there is always at least one person who just can't understand why not coffee and tea but my Diet Pepsi is OK. I have to admit that I knew nothing about the subject and have just explained that even though I don't understand I have enough faith to know that the commandment is one to follow. Today, that changed.
Today the woman who asked me told me that she loves to learn about religions. Her goal for learning them is because she likes to find the loophole. If you are a member of the church you probably understand the urge to let her know (in OF COURSE nice and courteous ways) there is no loophole. There is always a reason for everything. She didn't realize but while she was asking me about this and I was telling her I would find information I was praying with all my heart that I would find the information I would need to help her understand the Word of Wisdom better.
I was expecting to find a nice talk given by a General Authority about the blessings of the word of wisdom and the importance of following it. I thought I would have to depend on the spirit to guide her and help her understand while she was reading the article. Even though I knew that the spirit can guide and direct people in ways I will never fully appreciate or understand, I had a feeling that this woman I work with might need a little more. Apparently, Heavenly Father knew that as well. It took me less then 5 minutes to find an article written by a Dr. on LDS.org about coffee and tea and the xanthines that are in it.
What a blessing it is that the Lord always provides a way for us to educate those people who wonder about the commandments we follow and the people we are.
On top of that, what a blessing it is that Joseph Smith knew to give that commandment without knowing anything about xanthines and how harmful they are.

The second thing happened last night:
I've been trying really hard at getting better about prayers. I am not good at praying every morning and night and my night prayers are often the same thing recited over and over again. But I'm working on it. Last night I really concentrated on things in my life that I appreciated, needed to improve on, and needed help or blessings in. It was nice to sit and think about the millions of things I need in my life and know that the Lord will help me in each in every thing. I found myself thanking my Heavenly Father over and over again just for listening to me pray for help in something that seems so small.
After my prayer I was laying in bed thinking about something that I really struggle with. I thought about a way to conquer this and what I needed to do to improve. I imagined myself asking my mother-in-law (best. counselor. ever) of how I can become better and how she got over the same thing. I thought exactly word for word what I would ask her. Within seconds I suddenly felt as if the Lord as if he was right there whispering in my ear the answer to that prayer. There was no having to translate or sit and ponder it was clear and precise on what I needed to do. So clear in fact that I was able to write it word for word in my journal later.
What an amazing blessing it is to have that communication in my life. Without it I can't even, and don't really want to, imagine where I would be. I may of not always followed the teachings of the church but I always had the spirit and I always have used prayer to guide and direct me in times of great need. (as well as not great need) In fact it was through the spirit and prayer that I was able to find my way back to the church. That story later.

A reason to visit us

Today we went to THE SAN DIEGO ZOO!!!!

It was awesome.

We got the season pass so when you come visit us you get in for cheap. So come.

This is what we saw:

We parked in "E" for Koalas

This was at the Entrance before getting into the park.

This guy was pacing back and forth. Probably because he was pissed that all these people were bugging him.

Elephants were our first real stop. We stopped and watched them for a long time.

Then we stopped ant watched the Lions. There was a worker there giving them treats, beef heart, and she got them to do some tricks.

Like lie down...

...and come. She also got this one to stand. Michael wants me to say that this one is named Nala. It's not though. I can't remember what it's name was. The male was Marty.

The polar bear was hilarious. He would stay only on that rock and dance back and forth.

This one is for Sarah.

I used to ask for a tiger every year for Christmas.

This is a fishing cat. They bark like dogs and LOVE to swim. I didn't get a really good pic but they really just look like big kitties.

This little guy was just hanging out, no pun intended, by the monkey cages.

Don't worry Val, I wouldn't miss the giraffes.

I'm so glad we were finally able to get to the Zoo. I can't wait to go to the Safari Park next. Luckily, we have our season passes so it's paid for.

Now come and visit us so we can take you too.