So, I am 21 years old; almost 22. I was born in the covenant and up until high school was really active in church. But in all this time I had never been to a Saturday session of Stake Conference in my life; until today. One of my best friends, Masha, needed a ride up there and asked if I could take her. Even though I didn't really want to go I know Masha did and I decided nothing bad could come out of it. I'm so glad I went. First, I found out that I am very distantly related to my stake president. He mentioned, in his talk, about his mom, maiden name Evans, and how she moved from all her relatives in Lehi. I am an Evans and all my family (from way back) comes from Lehi. I asked him about it after conference and it's a pretty sure bet. So, it's a small small world.
Anyway, all five talks were amazing but one struck me especially. Right as the talk started I felt the spirit tell me that this talk was for me. I love it when that happens and was so ready to hear what the Lord had to say to me. I was slowly disappointed as the talk went on. It was about loving those who are different than us. He focused on things that are not of our faith...such as...in his firm they have a volunteer group that helps those with aids. They also have baby showers for the ladies at the firm and some of them are not married. He said that he helps in all these things and enjoys it. Even though this is a wonderful message it isn't something I'm struggling with so I thought maybe I had misunderstood what the spirit was trying to say. Then I had my AHA moment; one line, "If in a family you say, I love you but I hate this behavior (whatever behavior that might be) Can you really harbor that hate with out it affecting that love?"
This struck me like a mallet to a gong. (good metaphor LuLu) The sentence resonated with me. I thought about it's meaning for a really long time. I then thought about certain behaviors that I have in my life that I am trying to change to become a better wife. One of them impeticular is a really pesky bugger and is causing great problems. Even though it's hard for Michael I really need him to just get through this with me so I can be better. So, on my part I need to love Michael and his faults. I don't feel like you can just put up with faults. You need to recognize them and appreciate them or else you can't truely love that person.
I think that this line, alone, can do tremendous things for me. It not only applies to my husband but to those around me. I once had a long talk with my boss about having control over our bakes. Every night that I bake I have to go in a certain order so that everything comes out looking beautiful, done correctly, and comes out on time. You have to have such control over everything. I was even getting to the point where I would get frustrated at my assistant for putting a cart in the "wrong" spot. Since I was mad about this I would notice all the other stupid things he would do. But, after talking to my boss (she used to be the same way) I discovered that my assistant is just doing what he thinks is best. He's trying to be in control of the assisting side. I then learned to appreciate what my assistant did for me. Even if it wasn't my way it was getting done and getting done correctly and that's all I really needed. Even though Neil, my assistant, isn't someone I spend my every day life with he is still a dominant person in my life...considering I see him about 40 hrs a week. Now, instead of always being frustrated with him I can just enjoy working with him.
Is this all making sense? I hope so. I know that it makes sense to me and I guess that is all that really matters.