Monday, December 21, 2009
My Christmas Spirit
This year has been a tough one for the Hardy home. We were doing so good but then BAM then I had the back injury....All that good money I was making flew right out the door. Because of the financial hardships I was really putting off Christmas. I tried really hard to get in the mood by putting up the decorations and plugging in our lights every once in a while but it was all a cover up as to what I was really feeling.
You see, starting in October my in-laws decided that they were going to come and visit us for Christmas. I was so excited. Especially excited because we were going to surprise Michael. So even though I wouldn't be able to buy my husband ANYTHING to open on Christmas morning I would at least of given him the gift of "his parents." So why am I complaining, right? Well, when November hit we were hit with a crazy scary medical thing and all plans were put on hold.
Things I started to think about every day:
Where they going to come were they not going to come? What would we do for Christmas if they didn't? Two Christmases in a row with no family how depressing is our life? Hurry Luanne: make plans, get Michael excited.
Well nothing was happening. I tried with all my might, mind and strength to get Michael excited but how can I do that when I'm not even excited myself? I also felt bad because I knew that the "reason for the season" was not Christmas presents and that I really needed to get over myself. But I've never had a Christmas with out presents so I've never needed to really think about it before. This is a happy story...just to let you know.
All things changed for us when I was talking to my mother-in-law and she said that YES!!! THEY WOULD BE COMING!! Instantly, my frown turned upside down. I was finally excited for Christmas. The depressing cloud that was hanging in our apartment was lifted. But I still noticed that I wasn't in the Christmas spirit, I was just excited that my in-laws were coming.
*Today is Monday
Yesterday our Sacrament meeting, I'm sure it was the same for all of you, was the Christmas program. Since we have such a big choir our choir director plans the whole thing and so it's all music focus. There is no better way to get into the Christmas spirit than with music (in my opinion). On our way to church that morning Michael and I were listening to the ONLY Christmas music we have: Gate City. The last song we heard before walking in was Merry Christmas Mary. Do I know if this is the name of the song...no. One line really stood out for me and it started a whole domino affect. The line said something about how Christ was born on Earth for each and every one of us. I know, I know this should be something very obvious but I've never thought of it that way. I always thought "Oh he went through pain and suffering for all of us. Oh he was crucified for us." But I never ever thought that he was BORN for us. So I think about that for a while...continuing on.
Sacrament starts. After an hour of warming up our voices the choir is ready and people are anxious. Right after the passing of the sacrament a new spirit settled in the chapel. The program was beautiful and I wish all of you could have been there. It brought such a spirit that it was hard to sing because of the tears welding up in my eyes. Right then and there I really understood what Christmas was all about. I'm so grateful to of had this experience. I can now really be ready for Christmas.
What a blessing it has been to be poor. I never thought I could learn so much and have it be so important to me by being poor. I hope that each and every one of you experience Christmas the same way I will be this year: you can be excited about the presents but I hope you really feel the spirit of the TRUE meaning of Christmas.
Merry Christmas everyone!