The middle of the month is always really hard for me. It's usually about when my body becomes used to the amount of insulin I'm taking and I start to run a little bit higher than usual. This always makes me a little on edge until I get it under control (blood sugar wise, that is.) At the exact same time, I think they are connected, I am dealing with PMS which makes me sad/emotional. Then Michael starts to "feed" off of me being sad and mad and becomes distant: can you blame him? I can't. Since Michael is distancing himself from the monster forming inside of me I become even more emotional, only making the situation worse. I'm sure a lot of those ladies out there can feel my pain.
Today I decided that I have to clean or else our house would explode because of how messy it was. Michael and I are both really busy so it's kind of getting out of our control, the house work that is. Through all of my emotion throughout the day I was kind of high strung. I'm proud of myself because I actually was able to hide it from Michael. I'm sure he sensed I was tired but I don't think he realizes how on the edge I actually was. But I just did my cleaning and it soon put a smile on my face. I lost my edge and was able to hold a good conversation with Michael; with out blowing up.
For those of you who don't know me as well as others you may think that this isn't that great of an accomplishment. So I will fill you in a little bit. I have never been one to hold in what is on my mind. I usually say what I'm feeling at the moment no matter how true it is or if it will hurt someone or not. But I've been trying to become a lot better at it. And look I held it all in today!