Sunday, March 7, 2010

#6 This isn't working out

For starters: I'm sorry that yesterday I missed my post. I was having some major issues and I took a muscle relaxer and fell asleep at about 6:00.
Now to the blog: the point of this day to day blogging thing was supposed to be something that I could take control of and feel better about. Instead I'm just stressed out and counting calories all day. When you are counting calories you can get really down on yourself thinking about how much you eat. So, I need a change.
Today was fast Sunday. I was trying to find something to fast about. Of course there are a million and one things that I can fast about but I like to be really specific and I was looking for something, dare I say, selfish. I have been really down lately. I realized that it's a mixture of a lot of things and I didn't really know how to narrow it. I then remembered a conversation that I had with a close friend. He was having a hard time adjusting to his situation. I told him that the best thing to do is to "Keep moving forward." This is a quote from Walt Disney that has pushed me and Michael ever since we heard it. I told my friend that nothing can happen when you are standing still and the Lord wants us progressing daily. In the same thought process I realized that I feel I am at a standstill. We are in a strange limbo where Michael is so close to be done with school. I kind of know why this makes things so "stand stillish" for me but a lot of it is a little to personal to explain to my wide fan base. So, as I was thinking about all this...let's be honest...this morning when I realized it was fast Sunday I knew what I needed to fast for. I decided that I needed help feeling like I am moving forward despite the fact that some things are just going to have to stand still.
I think the Lord knows me a little bit better than I know myself. I have been wrong before but that hunch feels right. ;) I think he knew why I have been feeling down and has been waiting for me to ask how to help feel better. I think this because my answer came as clear as a bell in Sacrament Meeting today. What I realized:
The best way to feel like your moving forward is to try to become a better person each and every day. If you are constantly trying to better yourself than that is the best way to move forward because that's how things just fall into place. (Thank you for that Sarah.) So instead of focusing on my weight and the way I look, even though I am still going to continue to do on the side, I'm going to try and "Keep moving forward." I am going to find, each day, what I did that made a difference. Whether it be something as big as share the Gospel or change someone's life or as small as reading my scriptures or preparing for Primary. I want to clarify that I am NOT trying to out do anyone. I'm NOT trying to flaunt anything. I am just simply trying to be happier. So, I start with today.
I love my calling. (primary chorister) I love preparing for my singing time and I can honestly say it's my happiest and best 20 minutes of my week. This month in Primary the kids are learning about Prophets so they are learning the song Follow the Prophet. I'm fortunate enough to continue to get inspiration for my singing time. I think I have a very...tender group of kids who really need something stable and I know church can do that for them. So I think the Lord really helps me out. The inspiration that came to me this month was to have the kids act out the story from the scriptures to learn the verse. This week we are learning about Daniel. So I had them open up their scriptures to Daniel 6. Eight kids acted out the story and we learned the verse together. My goal was reached. Each kid was engaged and wanting to learn. They were all on the edge of their seats eager to see what happened next. I know I am making a difference in those kids lives and that means more to me than anything else.

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